Lady Dongle was recently painfully forced to endure a precarious and grievous event.
One of her dear friends, Lady Victoria, bestowed upon Lady Dongle a collection of four, baby, domesticated gallinaceous birds of uncertain sex.
They were angelic, whimsical clouds of downy delight and Lady Dongle fell deeply in love with each and every one of them.
Lady Victoria assured Lady Dongle that on the occasion one of the birds was exposed as being a rooster, Lady Victoria would reclaim the feathered fiend and have the creature executed in the most perfunctory manner. Lady Dongle swallowed at this but laughed gaily in the hope this outcome would never eventuate.
Inconveniently, one of the quartet of fowls, did indeed reveal itself to be of a crowing and feisty nature and Lady Dongle, fearful of future guilty and penitent night terrors regarding the particular rooster strung up and four quartered then placed on an ostentatious dining table (with her own self bearing the guilty posture), decided upon advertising the diabolical animal on the local Facebook community page rather than deliver it back into the hands of its divine creator via a woodfire stove.
“Exceedingly handsome rooster, Modern Game, free to a loving home (chicken eaters need not apply).”
In writing this letter, Lady Dongle carefully excluded any acknowledgement of the rooster’s fascination in regards to cruel and barbarous attacks on his fellow hens. She never once pronounced the slightest utterance in reference to the occasion of the rooster having drawn blood from its companion fowls on more than one occasion. Nor did she remark on the rooster’s rapacious tendency to … dishonour… his female companions in the most unappeasable and sordid of manners.
The rooster presented itself on the Facebook page as the very model of exemplary, distinguished character.
Lady Dongle jumped joyfully when a communication popped up on her laptop advising her that a kind and compassionate soul greatly desired to take in the pitiful and melancholy rooster and embrace him into the charitable bosom of their own family.
Lady Dongle augmented a sudden epilogue to her Facebook advertisement.
“No Returns” she quickly typed and sighed in felicitous alleviation.