Lady Dongle travels forty-five miles in her carriage, to and fro, each day to her place of employment and oftentimes finds it is a tedious and troublesome duty.
It is difficult, therefore, to conceive of her exulting joy and felicity upon hearing the school social club mistress, Miss Leesa, declare that the Staff Christmas ball was to be held on the very mountain where Lady Dongle resides.
In truth, even more prodigious tidings informed Lady Dongle the assembly was to take place within the walls of a public lodging not more than half a mile away from Winterfowl.
Oh, what triumphant happiness Lady Dongle had expressed on hearing this delightful communication.
In the long history of Lady Dongle’s social engagements, particular friends had often accused her of always contriving to ensure any future party of guests must travel to her very own convenient abode and that she would never tolerate any objection to this request.
This was an injurious accusation, indeed…. insinuating that Lady Dongle was an idle, selfish creature and inconsiderate and senseless towards the wants and desires of others.
‘Why should it always be her guests forced to play the martyr and suddenly distinguish themselves compelled to obtain a carriage at the conclusion of every evening reception when there was not a carriage to be had?’ the resentful guests often exclaimed.
‘Why should Lady Dongle be allowed to wander off to her bed chamber whenever the fancy took her?’
‘Why should she possess all the comforts of being accommodated in her own home on every festive occasion?’
However, Lady Dongle managed to ignore all of these protestations, and more times than not, she was enabled (through much shrewd conniving) to host whatever appointment was presently circulating, at her own agreeable dwelling where she was most content to stay.
Only one complication had arisen from the pleasurable circumstance of the Christmas party taking place within her own estate and this was that Lady Dongle had dispatched an invitation to two of her favourite colleagues enquiring that they might desire to spend the night at Winterfowl with her, instead of travelling all the way down the mountain after the merriment of the day had concluded.
The architecture of this affliction, the point of embarrassment, the detail which plagued Lady Dongle so painfully, was the dreadful and deplorable state of her guest privvy.
After many years of abuse from the earlier tenants, Lady Dongle’s privvy was; although clean and unobjectionable enough to reassure even the greatest of valetudinarians, grown stained beyond redemption and it was impossible to reinstate it to an unpolluted representation no matter how much bleach she applied.
What would her guests believe of her cleanliness? It was a grievance most repugnant that she should be deemed slovenly and unfastidious by her esteemed colleagues.
There was only one thing for it.
Lady Dongle immediately travelled with Lord Dongle to the nearest Bunnings and purchased a brand new privvy which delightfully expressed itself in all the colours of the rainbow.
Now Lady Dongle would be enabled to take perfect delight in every part of the Christmas party with not a moment of humbling mortification.